Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
