Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
