I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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