Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
