You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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