you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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