I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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