Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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