The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
