So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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