I feel like abortions should bother me more
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
