There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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