There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This baby is an asshole
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
