as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My dick has a subreddit
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
