is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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