This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I forget how to act sober
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
