i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
