There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
