did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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