They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
