pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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