are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
