But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
