I love black thongs
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
