I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
