well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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