That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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