apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
