so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
