Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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