Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
