Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
