Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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