He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
