Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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