i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
