Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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