I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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