he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
