I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
