dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
