WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
