I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
