butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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