escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
