He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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