If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
