not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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