Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
