Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My bed smells like the plague
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
