I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
