but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
